Showing posts with label Nazism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nazism. Show all posts

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Beyond awful: two more shitcoms that never should have existed





This is the only epsisode of Heil Honey I'm Home ever aired. No one knows how many were made. The rest were buried in a concrete bunker, or set on fire, or ran away to Argentina. It was a sort of I Married Adolf thing that reeked of bad. The disclaimer at the beginning insists this was a great work of art and tragically misunderstood. I am not against Hitler parody. I kind of like SOME of the Downfall parodies, though somebody decided to beat it to death and it's no longer funny. Mel Brooks took it to sublime heights in The Producers, one of my all-time favorite movies which I still laugh at after watching it at least 27 times. But this. . .

This is Hitler as Archie Bunker. I bailed partway through. And you will, too!




And this is Woops.When I heard about the idea for this show, I groaned but disbelieved it. This was during the height or depth of the nuclear panic in the mid-1980s, and everything teetered on the point of a pin as Reagan's doddering finger fumbled around for the button. He probably thought he was ringing for the nurse. Meanwhile, I just dismissed it as somebody's sick idea of a prank.

And then. . .

Anyway, Woops (strangely misspelled)  is a comedy about the last survivors of a global nuclear war. To get a more accurate picture, watch The Day After, Testament, or Threads. Anyone involved with this appalling, jaw-dropping crime against humanity should be tied to a chair and forced to watch Threads in its entirely. I coudn't. I was sobbing too much.

Some things, believe it or not, just ain't funny. The end of civilization? Hitler in a sitcom? Television, get your head out of your ass.


Sunday, December 21, 2014

Hitler's dog




If Hitler's dog could speak,
I think it would say everything.
Her body pressed into the snow
ears laid back in fear
shrinking from the Master's touch
the fatal caress.
Her name was Blondie,
she was his favorite,
and he killed her later on,
testing out the lethal properties
of cyanide.




If Hitler's girls could speak
I think it would say everything.
The fixed and fevered eyes
The crazy tilt of a pillbox hat
So stylish in the spring




and yes, a wave
a wave could say anything
not hello or welcome 
but a gesture of contempt
you may worship the supreme gift
of my presence
(you are fortunate I spare you
it could change at any minute)





I do not know what gave rise to this, the
 It's All Lies theory, when you see such as this.
And these were the chosen, the Aryan adored!
Slung around by the feet.
Babies by the pound. By the ton.
Enough to last a thousand years.




And ah the symmetry, the perfection, a sort of magic
the honest appreciation of conformity
the glory of it
the absolute assurance of its rightness and beauty
for if no one sticks out
we are all the same 
we move in unison
our hearts beat in unison
we think in unison
we are One.




and all the sweet tots 
in their kindergarten wagon
courtesy of Uncle Adolf




the Alpine innocence of tumbling colorful children
the short pants the innocent eyes
did no one doubt
did no one




how does the world know
even now
who this is
ugly little man, bad teeth
no charm
harsh roaring voice
no charm at all
"and yet, we were hypnotized"




The youth were told again and again
that the world belonged to them
or would
if they conformed
if the will was beaten out of them
or just removed
vacated 
so that ideology could be installed
into an empty vessel
but this was before
they had guns in their hands 
and were told to go save Germany




Happy little prance
bizarre Hitler dance
Goering looking on in embarrassment
for all this will reach the people
some day
like his cowering dog
who dares not disobey
his Blondie whom he kills
like Eva whom he marries
in a suicide pact,
a unique kind of reception.




The world squeaked through
by the skin of its teeth
but only with the forces of the world
to bring it down
and many say now
we got it all wrong, he was misunderstood
and none of it happened, it was all posed
These are not real babies, they are animated dolls
the skeletal inmates are dummies
it's all a plot
we won't look at this evil




so don't look, don't look
(we won't look)
and then 
again we won't look


Goebbels' Diary, 30 May 1942: " He [Hitler] has bought himself a young German Shepherd dog called “Blondi” which is the apple of his eye. It was touching listening to him say that he enjoyed walking with this dog so much, because only with it could he be sure that [his companion] would not start talking about the war or politics. One notices time and time again that the Fuhrer is slowly but surely becoming lonely. It is very touching to see him play with this young German Shepherd dog. The animal has grown so accustomed to him that it will hardly take a step without him. It is very nice to watch the Fuhrer with his dog. At the moment the dog is the only living thing that is constantly with him. At night it sleeps at the foot of his bed, it is allowed into his sleeping compartment in the special train and enjoys a number of privileges….that no human would ever dare to claim."

Thursday, September 9, 2010